


Begin Again

by Rollinginthesheep



Category: Jonas Brothers, One Direction (Band), Taylor Swift (Musician)
Genre: AU, F/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-31
Updated: 2013-07-31
Packaged: 2017-12-21 23:06:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/906029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rollinginthesheep/pseuds/Rollinginthesheep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <b>“You clearly have unfinished business with him and the Taylor I know never leaves a story unfinished if she can help it. You have that chance now. Sure you may not run into each other’s arms and snog to the sound of a flourishing orchestra but maybe you can get closure. My mother always told me that even if it’s the hardest thing to do closure is the best way to fully move on from heartbreak.” - Harry Styles</b>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Begin Again

On the path to finding one’s prince, a girl (and sometimes a guy as it is the twenty first century and all) has to kiss some toads. And no I do not mean going to your local park and picking up whatever amphibian you find in the pond and smooching it hoping it will turn into a prince. The toads I speak of are a whole lot more difficult to identify. They can be smooth, charming and incredibly attractive but really all they do is leave you and make you cry.

Though the tears really help you write songs that earn you millions. I would know.

Anyway all jokes aside, my path to happiness has been a crazy one indeed. When you live in the spotlight the concept of privacy is a complete and utter joke. Every secret, speculation and false rumour is spread across the magazine pages as clear as day. Try explaining to your distraught grandmother on the phone at one in the morning that you aren’t pregnant with Harry Styles’ baby and you might understand a partial idea of what that’s like.

People made so many assumptions about who I had been with and how much each relationship meant to me by the amount of songs I wrote about that person. But it couldn’t be further than reality. Sometimes it’s easier to write what you don’t feel than what you do, hence some of my songs being based on other people’s lives than my own.

I know I feel myself slowly becoming more cynical, drifting father away from the wide eyed country singer who believed in fairytale romances. Each time my heart was broken I lost a small portion of that childlike naivety as a scar remained from the pieces I sewed back together in an attempt to keep a brave face.

The biggest reminder came when I bumped into someone I use to date. A walking reminder of a past version of myself one that saw that person as my world.

Time changes things; we grow older and become wiser as we learn each new life lesson. But at the back of our minds, there’s always that one person that lingers on, that what if? The relationship you had that ended so suddenly whiplash still haunts your memories.

For me that person was Joe Jonas.

Yeah that Joe Jonas.

The one I dated in 2008 back in my gold sequined dress love story days. Our relationship ended over an infamous 27 second long phone call. We’ve both gone our separate ways in the five years since.

Five years.

Wow. Time seems to fly and drift by so slowly at the same time.

I sighed running my tongue over my lips as I leant back on the seat in the back of the town car I was currently travelling through the roads of England in.

“Are you alright Taylor?” Harry asked from beside me. I glanced at him nodding with a small smile of reassurance that felt false even on my own face.

Harry was kind, loving and a true gentleman. Our relationship was one of comfort as both of us knew that if we invested too many feelings toward each other it would make things messier in the future. We truly cared for each other but we had been burned by those in our past. Harry had been hurt by a girl back in his home town and me by the aforementioned singer that was plaguing my train of thought.

“You can talk about it if you want.” Harry offered softly placing his hand on my pants clad leg.

“It would ruin the mood aren’t we meant to be on a date?” I replied a moment later glancing away from his piercing green eyes. He was really far too inquisitive and perceptive for his own good.

Harry chuckled lightly at my question. “Taylor, you are my friend as well as my bed buddy. You can tell me anything you want if it makes you feel better.” He spoke and I could pick up a hint of a smirk on his lips as his dimples flashed at me mockingly. Stupid cute dimples.

“Bed buddy? Well that a cheap way to put it!” I exclaimed skilfully avoiding the subject he had arisen in the hopes of fishing information out of me.

Harry quirked a brow. “What should I call it then? Friends with benefits? Snuggle buddies? Fuck buddies?” He asked teasingly and I narrowed my eyes playful at his crude language.

“Whatever.” I replied with a shrug. Because really he was right. We were basically snuggle buddies. We held hands and acted like a couple but didn’t really see each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. It stopped people making judgements at such a casual arrangement, especially if they spotted us making out somewhere and managed to get pictures. That could raise a whole new scandal. I could almost see the headline now.

‘Swift casually shagging One Direction singer’

That would cause a field day, especially with some of Harry’s more…passionate fans. I already got labelled a slut for dating different guys throughout my time in the spotlight despite the fact half of them weren’t even people I had dated.

“Anyway back to the topic at hand. What’s on your mind? You look troubled.” He pressed and I sighed knowing he wouldn’t drop the topic and by the looks of the passing fields we were far from our destination. Harry was far too persistent. Damn his eager desire to know everything.

“I’m just…remembering things.” I replied hesitantly glancing out the window to avoid Harry’s eyes.

“What sort of things?” He asked and I twisted my mouth in slight frustration he wouldn’t drop the topic.

“Joe.” I stated simply. I turned to gaze at Harry and he glanced back at me with a thoughtful expression. Most guys would get pissed off if their bed buddy was thinking about another guy but again, Harry was truly one of a kind far more mature than his eighteen years of life would expect. It was the reason I was glad that at the end of whatever you labelled this, I would still have a great friend. A silence filled the car and the car kept moving, the driver oblivious to what we were talking about due to the divider between us and him.

“You know he’s in London at the moment right?” Harry replied after a few moments. I nodded slightly.

“Yeah I do.” My voice came out far more stonily than I intended.

“…Maybe you should go see him.” He replied slowly. I looked at him like he was crazy.

“Harry, I’ve barely spoken to him since everything went to hell five years ago and you think I should just casually go visit him whilst he’s in London? You are really bonkers.” I ranted and Harry looked a little terrified by my sudden harsh tone for a moment before his expression relaxed.

“Yeah, I think you should.” He repeated firmly. I shook my head at him. “Look, let me explain.” Harry added before taking a deep breath and continuing. “You clearly have unfinished business with him and the Taylor I know never leaves a story unfinished if she can help it. You have that chance now. Sure you may not run into each other’s arms and snog to the sound of a flourishing orchestra but maybe you can get closure. My mother always told me that even if it’s the hardest thing to do closure is the best way to fully move on from heartbreak.” Harry explained and my gaze softened at his words.

“Anne is a really wise woman.” I sighed in defeat. I couldn’t quite argue his logic here. Harry grinned in triumph.

“Back to London it is then. Rodger!” He called pressing the button to lower the divider before I could stop him. “We are heading back to London mate, apologies.” He directed and Rodger glanced at us like we were bonkers through the review mirror for a moment before complying to our wishes and performing a u-turn on the empty two lane road. The divider moved back in place and I spun to fully face Harry.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” I shrieked in semi-state of panic. I wasn’t prepared to see Joe, especially not backstage of one of his gigs or something where fans could see me and take photos and cause a scandal. Harry looked non-pulsed by how things are unfolding.

“Doing something you should have done years ago. Taking initiative woman!’ He exclaimed in a tone one would take when scolding a small child. I snorted at him before banging my back into the leather seat and avoiding his intense stare. There was no point arguing, when Harry made up his mind there really was no wiggle room in the matter.

Fucking Harry Styles.

—-

The night lights of London city brought the area to life as people buzzed by on the sidewalks all living their busy lives. I could feel anxiety bubbling in my gut as we got closer and closer to the arena. Small crowds begun to grow bigger and I could faintly hear the familiar chatter of excited fans. I swallowed trying to ignore the discomfort of my dry throat from nerves.

“I’ll have to stay in the car otherwise it will attract more unnecessary attention but I’ve got one of the guards coming to meet us there so you can get through the fans. Just head straight for backstage, they’ll let you in for sure.” Harry explained to me as he held my hands and I looked at him with bug eyes. I wasn’t use to pouring my heart out one on one with an ex. That was why I wrote the songs, so I didn’t have to do this.

Harry noticed my increasing discomfort and embraced me, rubbing his hand on my back in comforting circles. “Take a deep breath kiddo!” He said cheekily and I pulled back to shake my head at him with a roll of my eyes.

“I’m four years older than you.” I replied and he simply smirked at me as the car came to a halt. My stomach flipped again as I could see all the fans and the figure of one of the One Direction security guards approaching the car. “What am I doing?” I exclaimed nervously and Harry smiled warmly.

“You’re getting the fairytale moment you deserve Swifty!” He cheered and it was this comment that made me brave a smile and open the car door, emerging to the public. Harry’s hand smacked my ass as I stood up and it took everything in me not to react and smack his face in response but I didn’t want to alert anyone nearby to his presence. That could be catastrophic.

Cheeky Styles.

The guard begun to move at once, shutting the door behind me and beginning to move me through the crowd. I could hear murmurs and sudden shouts erupting around me as people begun to recognise me and wanted answers to what I was doing here of all places.

It took a few minutes but after one of the security agents of the arena realized who I was they let me through the ticket area immediately and directed me to backstage with what I was beginning to suspect was a bewildered expression on his face as he did so.

I strode down the small corridor we had been directed to and the guard trailed back now we were out of harm’s way. The protection from others and from my thoughts was removed and the nerves returned with full force. What was I even doing here? What would I say? What did I want to happen?

You want the happy ending with the prince you desire. An internal voice interrupted my monologue and I narrowed my eyes as it sounded a little too much like Harry for comfort.

I came to a stop as the two burly men looked at me expectantly. They guarded a door that led to backstage. One of them looked vaguely familiar and I assumed he must have worked with Joe since his Jonas Brother days and that was why his face had familiarity. I had performed with the boys after all.

“Taylor Swift it’s been a long time.” He chirped with a wide smile. I glanced at his badge for a moment, it read Steve and it sparked a further familiarity. I had spoken to him a few times during my time with Joe and he’d showed me pictures of his beautiful daughters.

“Hey Steve! How are your daughters?” I asked and he smiled warmer as he knew I remembered him.

“They’ve gotten bigger and they still adore your music!” He replied. “Now I assume you want through this door right?” He asked and I nodded. The second burly man was listening to our conversation curiously. “I’m surprised to see you here after all this time, but I know better than to deny the wishes of Taylor Swift considering your knack for writing songs.” He teased and I snorted lightly at this. He motioned to the other guy and stood aside.

“Thank you Steve.” I smiled and he nodded opening the door. I begun to walk.

“Taylor.” Steve spoke and I paused to glanced at him. “He’s missed you.” Steve said softly and my smile grew. “Go get him.” He said and I nodded before heading forward and he shut the door behind me.

This corridor was smaller and was a bustle of activity however I could see the door with Joe’s name on it so I kept walking, avoiding meeting the gaze of anyone I passed, familiar faces or not.

I came to a stop at the door and raised my hand to knock before stopping. I sighed lightly. This was it. I couldn’t turn around not now. It was time for me to take my own advice, be fearless and speak now. With that I knocked softly.

“Just a moment.” The muffled voice of Joe came a moment later. There were a few different sounds and a moment later the door opened to reveal the person I had come to see. He looked at me for a moment with no expression before his face changed to a multitude of different emotions. First, shock, then frustration and then finally settling on polite interest. “Taylor.” He said simply and I huddled my coat closer to my body, hands in my pocket.

“Hey Joe.” I managed and it came out a lot quieter than I intended. His familiar brown eyes studied me intensely for a moment as we exchanged a silent conversation before he stepped aside.

“Come in.” He said and I complied. He shut the door after me and directed me to the couch where we sat down. “What are you doing here?” He asked, getting straight to the point.

I took a moment to take in the surroundings of the room. Joe was always a messy person and it seemed the years hadn’t changed him in that regard. Clothes, instrument accessories and the occasional guitar lay around the room. A photo album sat on the table beside the couch and I resisted my curiosity to open the familiar album to see if it still had the little message I had written in it when I gave it to him.

“I don’t know. I just, I guess..” I trailed off glancing at him and he looked at me, studying me intensely like he had been a few moments before at the door. “I’m sorry for everything. How we ended…how I acted. I was hurt and I took it out on you, Camilla and let the world know about things I probably shouldn’t have.” I admitted quietly before turning my gaze to my hands as they fiddled with each other nervously.

We fell silent for a moment and I could hear Joe take a deep breath. “I’m sorry too, I didn’t quite deal with us as maturely as I should have and I didn’t treat you as well as you deserve to be treated.” He replied after a few tense moments. I glanced up at him with watery eyes. Anne Cox was right; closure really was what we all needed in love. But what would come from this closure? “So what now?” He spoke a moment later, echoing my thoughts.

“I don’t know.” I replied honestly. I could feel Joe’s gaze on mine as I resumed the fiddling of my nervous hands.

“So how are things with you and that Styles bloke?” He asked and I tried to ignore the pit of disappointment that filled me. Of course he assumed Harry and I were dating, it was what it looked like to the world. He wouldn’t see me as an option with us still together.

“Oh Harry and I aren’t dating. He’s the one actually who encouraged me to come here today…” I replied and Joe slightly surprised at this.

“So you aren’t seeing anyone?” He asked slowly and I nodded glancing at him. A small smile went on his face as he embraced me. “I’ve missed you Swift.” He said into my hair and I smiled.

It was a Wednesday, not in a cafe but love it begun again.


End file.
